I have no idea why i did it. We arrived at america today, I know i was supposed to setel down there, but when it came to saying goodbye to the crew i just couldn't do it. So now im going back to england, were im going to live there forever!!!! im never going to leave my familly and home ever.

Garlic, my most hated vegteball, it is very good for you but tastes ghastly. 4 people were vomitimg all day after the coruption it did to there stomaches. They still dont like it but for some resone the patiens are getting better, i hope they stay so. I asked patricia why, she said she didnt know. She said we were the first ship to survive tuberculosis. We'll be ariving there in one day. Im not looking forward to it, for i really dont want to leave the ship!

Its been like this for a week now, Elena says there are already 4 people dead. I wish there was some thing i could do, but they baned the normal people from entering. Were starting to run out of cooks biscket and wine. So that in the end we'll have to live on garlic, Eww! Plus we have no more water and so that means we'll have to have raw garlic.

I tould Patricia, that the paitients would have to eat that, she said that would be fine. i gess the'll live with it. Our food has lasted for a long time, which is actually preaty good for a boat. The gasrlic will last for about 1 week. Which will be fine for we are ariving in america in a week.

Ive just made the last of the cooks biscket into soup. The crew dug into it like it was some spiritual food. But it kinda was cause the next meal would be garlic!!!!

The sea looked black today. It didn't suite my mood, but after it did.

After there discussion last night. The Captain and Patricia came out of the Captains cabin. They looked terrible, then Elena came out as well. She said she had survived the Scarlet fever. But said there was worst to come. People started whispering in shock.

"Now" said the captain " We have a very bad situation on our hands" He said very seriously. "Some of the sick patients, have got tuberculosis." The crew gasped in horror.

"NOW" said Patricia "The sick area is only for sick people. NOT for those who are fine." i woudred why "Now the reason why is because tuberculosis is a very spreadable, and DEADLY decease." Then Elena spoke "Now my husband died of tuberculosis, and so this makes me know the symptoms of it" She said sounding sad but serous " The symptoms of tuberculosis are having difficulty to breath, not wanting to eat, losing weight, coughing up blood, night sweats, and fevers and chills"i was in shock. " I want everyone to try to stay calm and stay away from the infected patients!" Said the captain.

We were, then dismissed. I rushed up to Patricia.

"hows Harry?" I asked worried "He died yesterday, it seems as though hes had tuberculosis since his guardian started to get the symtons." She then gave me a hug to cover up the sound of me crying.

I mean he had only had the symptoms for more or less 4 weeks. Patricia said that's about how long they'll live after they had found out they had it . She said that when they took him to the sick area, he rabitly started to desintecrate, buy coffing up blood. I was devestated.

I saw Harry, sitting on the bench of the kichen today. I was just going to get some cooks bicket when he colapsted. I rushed towards him he was having dificulty to breath. I called Patricia. She came runing. She asked some older boys to lift Harry up. She then took him to a bed in the sick area. I wanted to follow them but Patricia wouldnt let me. So insted i whent to see Elena. Shes been getting better, i think. I told her about Harry, Elena gasped. "Are you ok?" i asked her. " Yes, jane im fine" she said not sounding so "Could you go and fetch nurse patricia?" She asked me sounding urgent " Yes, of course"

I then whent to Patricia, she was in the sick area. I told her Elena whanted her, and so she whent. But told me i was unable to be in the sick area anymore.

"Why?"i asked "Because i told you so"she said back sounding frustrated. I wonder why she said said that, but an hour later she still hadn't come out of Elenas area. I wonderd what they were talking about. But i dint dare go against patricias rules. And so i spent my time in the kichen writing to you. My jornal, of course.

I then made dinner, it was the usual ships biscet with hot wine. Well at lised some people liked it. But outhers refused to eat saying they were not hungry. It was very wierd but usually they would eat, but mabye they wern't hungry. I asked Patricia if she could force them, but she looked like she was going to faint. And rushed to the captains office were they talked until the sun seted.

A crew member died today.. i din't know him much. He was one of the people who was going to america. Nurse patricia, dosnt know how he died, but think he had scalet fever. She said that he left his friend harry on this ship. She says shell have to keep an eye on him for he might have scalet fever but so far he's fine. Well in his body but hes being crying alot latley. Poor him he lost his only gardian, and hes only 16 . I'll keep an eye on him. It's always good to have four eyes wachting, than two.

Nice, isnt it. I made it for Elena. I mean she neads somthing to rember me by so i made her this. At home mum taugt us how to make jewlery "All women need to know how to make jewlery!" Said my mum and when i left........... she gave me a whole pacet of beeds.... " To keep you compony and to make for sombody special". My mum was the best............

I hope there all ok........... i mean here on the ship were not.

Some of the crew has got scarlet fever......... just like Elena. I hope they survive. Because the Captian has been very stressed... so stressted once he made me make the whole crew, soup! " but we dont have any thing to make it out of ?" I asked the captain. " i told you, Jane. Make some danm soup! Half the crew is cold and got scalet fever, our ship is trying to get to america. And the COOK wont make some damn soup!!" Shouted the captian.

And so i had to make soup out of the ships biscket and hot wine. It was all we had, so it was all i could make. The captian says we'll get to america in 2 weeks. Hes says well stay there until the crews recoverd then thell go back to ingland. I dont want to leave the ship, i want to go back to england. See my sisters...........my mum........i miss them so much!

Well this what Elena drew she said thats what her old kichen looked like............. i must say it looks alot like the ships kichen.

I must say its been preaty hard coping with all the presure and bad coments the cooks get. I mean ye some of the coments and good but other people call me the job stealer. It really hurts............ some times i feel so bad i cry on Elenas lap. Every thing seems to go wrong, first i become a girl again beacause of whta people are calling me but people are still calling me names. Why does this happen to me......... ME! Of all people, what have i ever done. Im the ships cook....... and im only 13........ my only friend on this ship is dying of Scalet feaver. I feel as though the only good thing that happened on this ship was when i meet Elena. But everything else seems negative........ even becoming a cook was horrible, i mean at first i thought it would be heaven......... but now its just triring, exuasting, the worst and hardest job on this planet!!!

Now this is what the old cook looked like......... poor her. She's got Scarlet fever. Shes been in bed for six days already and doesn't seem to better. Her names Elena, shes so nice and a great cook, i visit her every day to see if shes recovered. But just seems to get weaker every day. I asked Mrs Patricia if she would get better but she said there was no way of knowing. Grandma got Scarlet fever, Elena reminds me of her. I hope Elena doesn't pas away ( like grandma), for shes the only one that seems to understand me. She told me that i don't have to go to America. She said i could live with her, on the ship............. in the kitchen. That would be nice. But if I'm supposed to live here i want to live with Elena, shes got a good soul.

Well, this is me. That's what i looked like after i took of my boy outfit. I knew i was dead meat............... and i was.

What is this !!!! cried the captain. He was furious with me for letting him take me (a 13 year old girl) on his ship. I begged the captain, to forgive me and to let me stay on his ship.

"On one condition"said the captain.

"Anything" i answered afraid of the condition.

"That you become the cook" said the captain

I almost fainted, the cook was sick.......... and so i became the cute 13 year old chef, that made great food. Now in this horrible picture i look quite.......... shy. But I'm not............. at home i used to sing in the shower outside(which is what i do in the kitchen). But you have to know what i look like. So since this is the only picture i have of my self........... its the one you ll have to look at.

Tuf luck!

Awwww............... my home.

Stop it !.... I keep on crying ......... But i cant help it........ im just so lonley that i keep thinking of home. Lake house , it was called. Where my six sisters lived...... where mom lives where dad and grandma are beried........ and where grandpa sits....... rocking on his rocking chair.
Where my bedroom lies with its lovely view of the lake................. the lake we washed our clothes in it.......... we had swimming races in it.............. the ones i would always win. Huh........... those were the days.............. But now im here on the ship cleaning the deck............. standing.............. crying.................... im so depresed.........that i pour the buket of water over my head................... take off my wig.............. my extra tummy............. So that in the end i'm a girl.............. not a boy...... not Jacob........ but Jane.

Aw...... isnt it lovley. Sunset...... on the sea. It remindes me of home.................... you know when i was living in england, every night i would wake up at 6 am to wach the sun rise. But here after every one go's to bed. I go to the kichen............ get a cocks biscite............. and wach the sunset .............crying my eyes out.

Eww... well thats what most of us cabin boys got, frostbite! But unfortunatly i got the worstpart of it this is what i got. Grossom huh. Ye i agree, it took one month to disapier and i had to cute my little fingger off. Now i real y apriciate that i used to have it. But you learn from your mistakes, so i learnt from mine.

Bur.... its freezzzzing since we're now in winter,the wind is unbearably cold. Imagine this: your a cabin boy, you have to clean the deck the winds blowing in your face, your hands are shaking. Now how are you supposed to work! Huh, well its not easy, first you have to layer your self with lots of clothes. Then you have to work work on stop, otherwise you'll feel sick the whole day long.

Wow...... dolphins. That means were getting close to our destination. Well close. Our captian said that we were 2 mounths away from america and 7 months away from home, well england. I saw the dolphins when i was cleaning the deck this morning and i called to whole crew!! Now im famous for the dolphin finder!!! No actually im just showing of, i just called to captian and he called the crew. But amn't i lucky not most people get to spot dolphins

Isn't he cute!! This is buster, my animal friend. Hes actually the captians dog but he sleeps with me and keeps me company through out the day. So that im not the lonley fat boy, insted im the "fat boy with the dog". Buster's actually makes being a cabin boy berable, its some times really fun because buster tries to carry the buckets but insted, she drages them. Plus, when i try to go to sleep, insted to pass the time i dress buster up. This is him as a pirate, cute huh.

Yumm...... dosnt it look nice! Well since we've been sailing for about a month now, most of our fresh food has been eaten. So instead we have to survive on this; its called the ships biscuit. Dosnt look that nice does it, well after you've worked on your arms and legs all day its actually quite filling. WELL at least its better than nothing. But the thing thats crusom is that after 1 hour of leaving it in the tub or on the boat....... it gets filled with squirming magots!!!!!!!! Thats why i have to keep it in my pocket!!

Say hello to my best friends( my only friends) are Mr mop and Mrs Brush. Ok..... , you get the picture, well what im trying to say is that since im a normal girl dressed in a fat boy suite nowone would really like now would they. No i didnt think so, well so since i have nowone to talk to...... i talk to the things i work with. Look im not going insane its just that im lonley..... cant you see that. Im having kinda of a hard time here, i mean knowone knows im a girl so they dont exacly take simpathy on me.But im now starting to see that and im thinking of ripping of a bit of the extra layers so that i can, have some real buddies.

Now does this look comfortable for your fist day sailing, no i didn't think so. Well that was what i had to deal with! Bad weather, stormy seas, the whole pack. For you first day, i mean how bad can it get huh! Plus everyone was treating me like i was some dirty old rag, i mean i was dressed for the part, right? i mean that's why i got the job. Oh Jane stop pulling yourself down! Yes i agree....... oh i completely forgot to mention my name to you, oh well its Jane nice huh........ no its horrible!!! So as a guy i called myself a very handsome name: Jacob! OH, i hate this picture it makes me want to cry. Oh well now you know that wherever i go bad luck followes my footsteps. Well in this scene at least!!!

Now, the reson for money was not the only reason for why i left and dressed up for this job. Well, the second reson is because the ship was going to america. Whats america? I asked my family when they told me that was wear i was hedding. "Oh, america is a place even bigger than england; and the reason this very glamerous ship is hedding ther is because america is the country of hopes". Said my gandpa........ and since then ive been inspised. So with me and my tub we will make it to america!!!!

Oh, and isn't this heaven! Lying in an old bath tub filled with rats, cobwebs and MAGOTS!!!! No this was not my cup of tea. I mean ye i needed the money for my family, but that dosent mean i have to be sleeping in this dump!
So i work hard all day so that when its time to get a wink of sleep........ i wont notice the smell, rats, magots,and creepy crawlies!!!

Wow! Isn't it a beaty, well no: to an experienced cabin boy, this would be his nightmear. Well how was i suposed to know that the reson i got paid more was because i had to do tripple work, i mean there was only five cabin boys on bord so litrally- i was aching all over by the time i had finished my first day. But there was a hole more month of cleaning and scrubing to do before the ship could sail!

Well, this is me. Not that attractive am I ,oh well its not like i think about that since i am supposed to be a boy. You say your lifes unfair well what about me; I have to be a scruffy, fat looking, dirty, cabin boy!! I am forced to wear these dirty looking clothes and i was forced to take this job.